I LOVE being a Mom, before I had thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I knew I wanted to be a Mommy. I love my kids with my whole heart all the time, however that doesn’t mean that at times I don’t feel overwhelmed by Parenting.
Right now, Parenting SUCKS and there’s nothing much I can do about it. Certain things are completely out of my control however they affect my little ones and that sucks.
Highlight / Lowlight / Summary of why Parenting sucks right now
- Joshuah’s sleeping
Little Joshuah, as sweet as he can be (which is not all the time) he is a terrible sleeper. From day one Josh would do short power naps throughout the day, and that was it. There was NO 2-3 hour stretches, his sleeping lasted 20 – 45min at a time and that was all he needed. This was draining and frustrating but soon we adapted and 2 years later not much has changed. So WE are sleep deprived and that sucks. On average (on a good night) Josh will wake up between 2 – 3 times, either to moan, or want his dummy which he is too lazy to get himself or will want to come to our bed. On a bad night he will wake up every 45 – 60 min and then its full on tantrum and he’s restless, and wants no one to touch him and screams and and and then he passes out. For no reason. THIS IS DRAINING. And the problem is when he wakes up (not by choice but by being woken) he is miserable, and it’s completely understandable because he is tired! I’m not too sure if you know what it’s like to deal with a miserable toddler / kid first thing in the morning. This however falls on solely on Carl as I leave earlier than them, some mornings its good and they happily chat and laugh but other mornings it’s a crying tantrum filled start to the day. Bless Carl’s heart, he deals with it so well.
Parenting sucks when you’re so exhausted and sleep deprived that you flip at the smallest things your kids do and then shout and swear and hours later feel like a dog because of the way you reacted. Depriving a person of sleep is a profound assault on the entire biological system at the foundation of that person’s mind and body.
- Joshuah’s schooling
Joshuah is attending the crèche which Danny attended. Logistically where they were situated was on our morning route and they staff were awesome and the school great, however they were leasing the premises and the owner had decided to sell the plot to a developer. This meant the school would be moving (this was in 2013). As far I know there was no meeting with Parents and the only communication I had received was a letter in the boys bags to say that they will be moving within the next month to new premises.
There was nothing I could but move with the school, which was / is COMPLETELY out of our way as Carl drops the boys in the morning and works in the Southern Subs. So he sits in traffic (±20 min) to get to Durbanville then sits in the peak hour traffic to make his way to N1 / R300.
Last week we received another letter, 2 million guesses what’s happening AGAIN. Yip, the school is moving in December. Actually correction, they are combining, our school with one of their other branches. I’m so over it! Can you imagine, 2 schools who are operating at full capacity now having ALL those kids under 1 roof. Ugh! So from January this is what’s up. Now… we sit with the decision. Do we move him to a new school or keep him in this deurmekaar situation. Side note, I’m not a fan of the other branch but each to his own I guess.
Parenting sucks when you are forced into a situation like this again.
- Daniyal’s schooling
During Feb / March this year we applied at the 2 Primary schools within our area for Danny for Grade 1. A mere 2 and 3km away. However they advised me that we don’t fall into the direct feeder area (a big WTF) but we don’t fall out of their feeder area (double WTF), we fall into a grey area.
Moral of the LONG story, we applied when applications like the rest of the world in the North and HE WASN’T ACCEPTED AT EITHER SCHOOL. For the record, there are NO other schools in our area. None. Unless you go into Bellville which is over the N1 and not in our area. According to those schools, we also don’t fall into their feeder area, and we’re 10 – 12km away from the closest Bellville school which by now are all jam packed full.
Following a discussion with a few parentals who will be attending these schools I found out that certain kids who reside in completely external areas out of the feeder zones etc. were accepted to the schools. The Mommy in me contacted the WCED and spoke to the Superintendent who deals with these schools (not about the other kids but because my kid doesn’t have anywhere to go next year) and I can assure you I will get NOWHERE with him. I completed the forms, in order for him to open an enquiry into the schools and when I called a week later he had still not made contact with either schools. He basically told me to wait till 16 November and contact the schools again, if I had no joy I should then make an appointment to see the Principals and we take it from there and if that didn’t work then he would contact the Principals. Hello, its already NOVEMBER. This is ridiculous.
The only other option we have is to put Danny in a Private school, which is what we have done but still waiting for feedback from them whether he was accepted. So please hold thumbs for us.
Parenting sucks when you have to deal with WCED and have no support and no one fighting for your child!
- Daniyal’s behaviour
Right now Danny has entered a challenging phase in his development, behaviour wise. It’s not that he’s acting out, it’s just that he doesn’t give a sh*t (sorry but I’m calling a spade a spade and not a tool with a sharp-edged, typically rectangular, metal blade and a long handle, used for digging or cutting earth, sand, turf) what anyone says lately. He’s irritable, he’s moody and not his normal happy behaving self. Strange!
Parenting sucks when you child looks straight at you and says, “NO” when you ask / tell / command / beg him to do something i.e. make your bed, pack away your toys, acknowledge your brother who’s been trying to get your attention for 5min and has now gone into full on tantrum mode because you won’t play / talk / look at him.
- Daniyal’s behaviour at school
In the last 3 weeks I’ve received 2 calls from his teacher regarding his behaviour, personally I also think she could handle situations better and needs to realize when you have an overcrowded class, with many energetic boys they WILL play rough, they WILL be loud, they WILL all seek attention. It’s part of their development, in saying this however Danny has changed. And after the call yesterday I said to her, in the nicest possible way I could SHE needs to investigate what is happening in her class. On more than one occasion Danny has come home saying that boys in the class and aftercare are bullying him, teasing him and fighting with him and this is something I have addressed with her and the aftercare teachers previously. Following this call, she had a class talk about bullying. I mean really, she wanted to blame my Danny for being a fighter (ANYONE who knows Danny knows that this is rubbish) and like I pointed out to her, has this ever been an issue? No. Something must have triggered this. According to Danny, after many conversations, he said he’s not fighting but protecting himself, however I’m the parent who is called. Bull dust!
Then the nerve, a Parent actually approached my little 6 year old at the school to ask him about bullying, this made me FLIP and I explained to her that if I EVER hear that this has happened again I WILL PERSONALLY CONFRONT that Parent and I can ASSURE her that it will definitely not end well. Do not mess with my child. Ever. How dare an adult intimidate my 6 year old and then they only report it to me a day later. When I asked Danny he said that he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want me to get angry. All because the boys were doing a Chinese bangle (hold wrist firmly and with our 2 hands & kind of twist) and this little *insert rude word here* ran to his Mom and said Danny hurt him. I would never approach another kid without speaking to the teacher first and asking my kid to explain to me what happened. That’s just not on. So lady, if you ever stumble across this know that without a doubt in my mind I WILL CUT YOU, and you have no idea how intimidating I can be. Vent over.
Parenting sucks when you have a feeling that there’s a little *insert rude word here* boy (s) at his school that are bullying your kid and others but have no proof and you’ve discussed with the teacher and nothing happens except your kid gets blamed (yes Danny is sorry for punching your giant in the nuts last week but he was defending himself, yes Danny did choke your child yesterday but this is because your kid and his 2 friends held his arm and legs while another smacked him on his head but the teacher happened to not see this as always). We don’t condone fighting but we do encourage Danny to defend himself if he is being hurt or feels scared. So I will not punish my kid for doing exactly what we have told him to do.
So right now, Parenting SUCKS! And Parenting has kicked me hard in the hypothetical balls, and left me frustrated, overwhelmed and helpless. But this is just a phase and I know it will pass, after all, everything happens for a reason.