It all started with a series of bad decisions and a very unhealthy relationship but ended in love, marriage and a new baby in the carriage (well not such a baby anymore).
My pregnancy was relatively uncomplicated and easy (well except for developing preeclampsia towards the end of my third trimester and 2 unexpected hospital admissions), I didn’t have many people to share it with as I was still an outcast to my family and suffering the consequences of my actions but I had a handful. This was definitely not the life or pregnancy I had envisioned for myself while growing up and it certainly was not a happy period, I had cried more during these 9 months than any other time in my entire life. I blamed myself for how bad my relationship had gotten (in retrospect it was a terrible one to begin with, filled with lies) and blamed myself for being pregnant. Yet my baby was healthy and developing beautifully, and still I could not find the joy in this blessing.
The day I became a Mother
My eldest son entered my life on 09 January 2009 at 08:38am; I remember every detail as if it had happened yesterday but it was a lifetime ago but let me take a step back. See, this pregnancy was never part of my plan. It was a mistake, a consequence of my actions. I was young, I was stupid, I had made a truckload of mistakes (if not more); I knew nothing about being a Mother and knew that I would fail. I did not ask for this responsibility, I took precautions against it and yet I sat there – alone, in the dark, on the floor, sobbing. This was the day I found out I was pregnant, one of the hardest days of my life (and I’ve had a few). I had no one to turn to, no shoulder to cry on, for months I had isolated myself from everyone, from the world and when I needed someone – there was not a soul.
But the day they placed my son in my arms I knew that this is what I was meant to do, be his Mother. I was still young, now no longer stupid but just naïve and very nervous. Did I know how to be a Mother, no. Did I prepare for this moment, no. Was I petrified that I would do this on my own? Yes.
My Motherhood journey
Being a Mother didn’t come easy or naturally, there were times that I felt completely helpless and a complete failure. I had failed myself and I was failing my son daily. I was unhappy, I was stressed, I was in a bad relationship and I was scared.
I was overwhelmed and emotional, I was confused and anxious. I tried to be a Mother on my own, thinking I didn’t need anyone or anything, and I was wrong. Then it hit me, hard, I always thought I was putting the needs of my child first but yet we were still in a bad space. I was selfish, I wanted to be a Mom on my terms, but I was wrong. A few days later I had finally mustered up the courage to pack mine and my baby’s bag and leave our unhealthy situation. It was the best decision I had ever made for the sake of my son.
I had finally put my sons needs above my own, I had found myself in the journey of Motherhood and even though we struggled for the next few months I had my life back, I could be the best damn Mother to my child and I had support from my family.
My journey may be different to many others, but one thing remains – it takes a village to raise a child. I know what it is like to not have support when you need it, I know what it feels like to need encouragement and have no one. I know that not all journeys are easy, some much harder than others. I know how great it feels to have another Mother’s support, just to hear “Well done” or “You’ve got this”. That’s why I’m taking time out on Mothers day to join #MothersDayConnect. If you want more info then check out the site or find us on Facebook.
Who can be part of Mother’s Day Connect 2017?
Mother’s Day Connect (MDC) is open for any women who would like to visit, encourage and support other women as they start their motherhood journeys. Unfortunately, due to the sensitive nature of childbirth and respecting cultural practices, men are not permitted to visit as part of MDC.
Is Mother’s Day Connect only for public hospitals and Midwife and Obstetric Units?
At this stage, yes. Mother’s Day Connect was sparked to address the inequality of Mother’s Day – that some mothers receive lavish gifts, kindness and care on Mother’s Day, whilst others go un-recognised. We realise that many mothers who give birth at public hospitals are surrounded by great support networks, but we also know that many aren’t. Our best chance at making Mother’s Day inclusive for all new moms is to focus on public maternity units.
How do I join a Hospital?
Go to our Facebook event page, scroll through the hospital posts and fill in the form linked in the post. Don’t forget to comment on the thread so you can join in the planning conversation. You can also search for listed hospitals on our Mother’s Day Connect web page and click the form link to sign up.
What should we bring for the Mother’s?
- The emphasis of this day is on encouragement and kindness, but we all know a small gift goes a long way in making someone feel special. You may want to bring along some baked treats or you might want to get donations for goody bags. It’s entirely up to you! We’ll be posting some gift suggestions on the Facebook pagein case you need some inspiration.
- We will be creating a very special and unique Mother’s Day card which will be available for download and print in multiple languages. We would encourage you to ensure that each mom receives a card to commemorate her part in this special movement.
Should we bring something for the babies?
- You are most welcome to bring something for the babies. Please ensure that if you bring second hand items that they are clean and of good quality.
- We will be encouraging all volunteers to bring a children’s book from their home to start a new baby’s library. We’ll be sharing more information about this in due course.
Come on ladies, here’s your chance to do something selfless for another Mother on Mothers Day.
Blessed to be a blessing