5 Things I plan on doing differently with baby number 3!
As parents, we are constantly learning from our mistakes. It’s just part of being a parent. There is no set plan.
I recently read a post on Bad Mammy (published May 2017) on things she planned on doing differently with baby number 2. This inspired me to think ahead and start planning for November.
With my first child I was a bit over the top (at first). Everything needed to be by the book. When it was Danny’s bed time I considered it mine too and retired to my room at 7pm and went to sleep. What he wanted, he got. Happy baby and happy Mommy. BUT then Daddy Carl joined our family and shit had to change (Danny was then 2 years old and the changes didn’t really affect him – he just happily went along).
When we had Josh we changed things up a bit. This kid was going to fit into our schedule, not the other way around. For the most part this worked, until it didn’t.
My breastfeeding plan of 2 years, moved to 3 years.
The sleeping in his own cot went out of the window in month 6 until we forced him out of our space at age 2.
The healthier eating and trying new foods went right out of the door the first time he spat his broccoli at me. And that was that.
BUT this time around – will be different. With 3 kids outnumbering us there’s no way we’ll be able to survive as parents if we don’t set the rules from day 1 (I’m going to need all the help I can as my kids know exactly how to break me).
I have no doubt that having 3 kids at home will mean our day to day life will reflect that of a circus. I am by no means structured and as organized as I would like to be / strive to be. That being said, it is of the utmost importance to get our family into a healthy routine.
Right now we have a routine – one which involves me shouting 900 times for something to get done, or for someone to put on their underpants or make the mat in the bathroom right. Bedtime is anywhere between 19:00 – 21:00 (Josh is a talker, Dan is a moaner, I am a shouter).
For my own sanity I am going to start working on this now, in preparation for baby girls arrival. I am also attempting to be more proactive when it comes to making lunches the night before – hence no need to rush in the morning.
GET BABY IN HER OWN COT SOONER – then her room
I’m all for baby cuddles 5 million times a night and the super duper convenience of co-sleeping and feeding BUT this little madam will need to understand, MY BED IS MY BED. I have no problems co-sharing a bedroom for the first month but thereafter you’re in your own room.
Guys we were soooo good with Josh then Carl was admitted to hospital for a week and I just caved and allowed him to sleep in our bed. Worst decision ever.
Co-sleeping is great BUT there comes a time when a relationship takes a back seat due to the bugger in your bed. Remember, I’m not saying everyone – I’m saying me.
ASK FOR HELP WHEN IT’S NEEDED
The majority of my time with Josh was spent alone while on maternity leave, not seeing friends and family. Not having help. This was cool until it wasn’t. Yes I missed adult conversations, interaction with others and feeling like you’re more than a Mom at times. I didn’t have help like some new Moms do, it was just me.
Yes I have a great support system but everyone was going through their own thing at the time. The occasional visits to my Mom and seeing my sisters were great but timing not so much.
So I battled on some days by myself until Carl got home and did what probably more woman care to admit to do but cried in the shower from sheer exhaustion and delight that someone else was with the baby.
DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
Something will go wrong, such is life. But why should I sweat the stuff that’s out of my control? With Josh I was so set on having a clean home, being showered with clean hair when hubby got home.
I almost lost the plot.
Small things made me flip. For what? Carl didn’t care, he wanted a happy wife enjoying every minute of being a Mom and taking it easy. Not secretly binge eating caramel on marie biscuits to cope with the stress of small unnecessary crap.
UNDISTURBED FIRST HOURS
I love family, I love my family but as I was wheeled from Theatre to our room everyone was there.
There was no chance to breath, to process and just spend some us time in the first few hours (or just even an hour) getting to explore our baby.
Let the nursing staff have the chance to drain my catheter at least before my first visitors arrive – you know what I mean.
THE MAGICAL HOUR
Another reason being my “magical hour” is probably going to be delayed due to being in recovery.
For this reason I want to be fully involved in my little girls 9 Instinctive Stages of breastfeeding and getting to know me.
Daddy will just have to do the skin to skin when she’s away from me.
As with any good plan comes the possibility of failure, I know this. So I’m not saying that this is bullet proof but I am going to try my best to stick to it.
Any other 2nd, 3rd, 4th plus time mom’s out there?
What are some of the things you found yourself doing differently, care to share?