When Parenting SUCKS!

“Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, financial, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.”

I LOVE being a Mom, before I had thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I knew I wanted to be a Mommy. I love my kids with my whole heart all the time, however that doesn’t mean that at times I don’t feel overwhelmed by Parenting.

Right now, Parenting SUCKS and there’s nothing much I can do about it. Certain things are completely out of my control however they affect my little ones and that sucks.

Highlight / Lowlight / Summary of why Parenting sucks right now

  1. Joshuah’s sleeping

Little Joshuah, as sweet as he can be (which is not all the time) he is a terrible sleeper. From day one Josh would do short power naps throughout the day, and that was it. There was NO 2-3 hour stretches, his sleeping lasted 20 – 45min at a time and that was all he needed. This was draining and frustrating but soon we adapted and 2 years later not much has changed. So WE are sleep deprived and that sucks. On average (on a good night) Josh will wake up between 2 – 3 times, either to moan, or want his dummy which he is too lazy to get himself or will want to come to our bed. On a bad night he will wake up every 45 – 60 min and then its full on tantrum and he’s restless, and wants no one to touch him and screams and and and then he passes out. For no reason. THIS IS DRAINING. And the problem is when he wakes up (not by choice but by being woken) he is miserable, and it’s completely understandable because he is tired! I’m not too sure if you know what it’s like to deal with a miserable toddler / kid first thing in the morning. This however falls on solely on Carl as I leave earlier than them, some mornings its good and they happily chat and laugh but other mornings it’s a crying tantrum filled start to the day. Bless Carl’s heart, he deals with it so well.

Parenting sucks when you’re so exhausted and sleep deprived that you flip at the smallest things your kids do and then shout and swear and hours later feel like a dog because of the way you reacted. Depriving a person of sleep is a profound assault on the entire biological system at the foundation of that person’s mind and body.

  1. Joshuah’s schooling

Joshuah is attending the crèche which Danny attended. Logistically where they were situated was on our morning route and they staff were awesome and the school great, however they were leasing the premises and the owner had decided to sell the plot to a developer. This meant the school would be moving (this was in 2013). As far I know there was no meeting with Parents and the only communication I had received was a letter in the boys bags to say that they will be moving within the next month to new premises.

There was nothing I could but move with the school, which was / is COMPLETELY out of our way as Carl drops the boys in the morning and works in the Southern Subs. So he sits in traffic (±20 min) to get to Durbanville then sits in the peak hour traffic to make his way to N1 / R300.

School

Last week we received another letter, 2 million guesses what’s happening AGAIN. Yip, the school is moving in December. Actually correction, they are combining, our school with one of their other branches. I’m so over it! Can you imagine, 2 schools who are operating at full capacity now having ALL those kids under 1 roof. Ugh! So from January this is what’s up. Now… we sit with the decision. Do we move him to a new school or keep him in this deurmekaar situation. Side note, I’m not a fan of the other branch but each to his own I guess.

Parenting sucks when you are forced into a situation like this again.

  1. Daniyal’s schooling

During Feb / March this year we applied at the 2 Primary schools within our area for Danny for Grade 1. A mere 2 and 3km away. However they advised me that we don’t fall into the direct feeder area (a big WTF) but we don’t fall out of their feeder area (double WTF), we fall into a grey area.

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Moral of the LONG story, we applied when applications like the rest of the world in the North and HE WASN’T ACCEPTED AT EITHER SCHOOL. For the record, there are NO other schools in our area. None. Unless you go into Bellville which is over the N1 and not in our area. According to those schools, we also don’t fall into their feeder area, and we’re 10 – 12km away from the closest Bellville school which by now are all jam packed full.

Following a discussion with a few parentals who will be attending these schools I found out that certain kids who reside in completely external areas out of the feeder zones etc. were accepted to the schools. The Mommy in me contacted the WCED and spoke to the Superintendent who deals with these schools (not about the other kids but because my kid doesn’t have anywhere to go next year) and I can assure you I will get NOWHERE with him. I completed the forms, in order for him to open an enquiry into the schools and when I called a week later he had still not made contact with either schools. He basically told me to wait till 16 November and contact the schools again, if I had no joy I should then make an appointment to see the Principals and we take it from there and if that didn’t work then he would contact the Principals. Hello, its already NOVEMBER. This is ridiculous.

The only other option we have is to put Danny in a Private school, which is what we have done but still waiting for feedback from them whether he was accepted. So please hold thumbs for us.

Parenting sucks when you have to deal with WCED and have no support and no one fighting for your child!

  1. Daniyal’s behaviour

Right now Danny has entered a challenging phase in his development, behaviour wise. It’s not that he’s acting out, it’s just that he doesn’t give a sh*t (sorry but I’m calling a spade a spade and not a tool with a sharp-edged, typically rectangular, metal blade and a long handle, used for digging or cutting earth, sand, turf) what anyone says lately. He’s irritable, he’s moody and not his normal happy behaving self. Strange!

Parenting sucks when you child looks straight at you and says, “NO” when you ask / tell / command / beg him to do something i.e. make your bed, pack away your toys, acknowledge your brother who’s been trying to get your attention for 5min and has now gone into full on tantrum mode because you won’t play / talk / look at him.

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  1. Daniyal’s behaviour at school

In the last 3 weeks I’ve received 2 calls from his teacher regarding his behaviour, personally I also think she could handle situations better and needs to realize when you have an overcrowded class, with many energetic boys they WILL play rough, they WILL be loud, they WILL all seek attention. It’s part of their development, in saying this however Danny has changed. And after the call yesterday I said to her, in the nicest possible way I could SHE needs to investigate what is happening in her class. On more than one occasion Danny has come home saying that boys in the class and aftercare are bullying him, teasing him and fighting with him and this is something I have addressed with her and the aftercare teachers previously. Following this call, she had a class talk about bullying. I mean really, she wanted to blame my Danny for being a fighter (ANYONE who knows Danny knows that this is rubbish) and like I pointed out to her, has this ever been an issue? No. Something must have triggered this. According to Danny, after many conversations, he said he’s not fighting but protecting himself, however I’m the parent who is called. Bull dust!

Then the nerve, a Parent actually approached my little 6 year old at the school to ask him about bullying, this made me FLIP and I explained to her that if I EVER hear that this has happened again I WILL PERSONALLY CONFRONT that Parent and I can ASSURE her that it will definitely not end well. Do not mess with my child. Ever. How dare an adult intimidate my 6 year old and then they only report it to me a day later. When I asked Danny he said that he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want me to get angry. All because the boys were doing a Chinese bangle (hold wrist firmly and with our 2 hands & kind of twist) and this little *insert rude word here* ran to his Mom and said Danny hurt him. I would never approach another kid without speaking to the teacher first and asking my kid to explain to me what happened. That’s just not on. So lady, if you ever stumble across this know that without a doubt in my mind I WILL CUT YOU, and you have no idea how intimidating I can be. Vent over.

Parenting sucks when you have a feeling that there’s a little *insert rude word here* boy (s) at his school that are bullying your kid and others but have no proof and you’ve discussed with the teacher and nothing happens except your kid gets blamed (yes Danny is sorry for punching your giant in the nuts last week but he was defending himself, yes Danny did choke your child yesterday but this is because your kid and his 2 friends held his arm and legs while another smacked him on his head but the teacher happened to not see this as always). We don’t condone fighting but we do encourage Danny to defend himself if he is being hurt or feels scared. So I will not punish my kid for doing exactly what we have told him to do.  

So right now, Parenting SUCKS! And Parenting has kicked me hard in the hypothetical balls, and left me frustrated, overwhelmed and helpless. But this is just a phase and I know it will pass, after all, everything happens for a reason.

We will be moving…

Watch this space

Good Morning Lovelies,

As most of my readers are aware I recently ventured into the Small Business world. In saying this I have definitely neglected my blog for a while, due to no time, no energy and no inspiration.

This being said I have decided to merge my babies, What Happened to my Body and Love Made Me.

So watch this space, soon I will be launching my website and if you’re still keen on reading what I have to say then you can follow me there.

Till later

LT

Dealing with pregnancy loss

They say having a baby is one of the most enjoyable and amazing experiences of ones life, an event that brings a couple together.

But thats not always true.

Having Danny was both amazing and hard.

Having Josh was unbelievably amazing.
But there was a time in between. One of the most challenging and hardest times of our marriage.

Falling pregnant came with its own challenges. We battled.

There were countless tests, Doctors visits, monitoring cycles, many negative pregnancy tests, needles, medications and eventually we received our first positive.

I’ll never forget sitting in the bathroom of our tiny flat with Carl by my side waiting to see 2 pink lines and when they appeared Carl had the biggest smile on his face. It was lots of laughing, smiling, hugs and kisses.

This explained the sudden fatigue and lack of appetite I had for a few weeks.

We were finally there!

I called my Docs rooms and scheduled an appointment for that week.

First scan confirmed I was just over 6 weeks along and there on the monitor was a tiny little sac with a bean.

A few weeks later I started to feel strange, since this was not my first pregnancy and I know my body well I could feel something was different. Insteaded of my preggy symptoms increasing they started fading slightly and I knew it was too soon for this.

That Sunday, we joined Carl at Koeberg Nature reserve for his weekly cycle with his Dad and brothers. I was 10 weeks along and counting down the days till I was in the “safe zone”. Later that afternoon I started spotting.

To me this wasn’t too much of a concern as I had it with my first pregnancy too. But it definitely raised a flag.

By the following Wednesday it was still there and I called my Doc and scheduled an appointment. She could see me the very next day.

Unfortunately for me Carl couldn’t join me due to work commitments and I didn’t think anything would be wrong. I was wrong.

My Doctor confirmed that there was no longer a heartbeat, and just like that. It was over.

The next few minutes with her are still a blur. I don’t remember anything she said apart from “I’m so sorry Lindsay”. Somewhere between Week 10 and 12 our Angel baby returned to heaven.

She booked me for an evacuation procedure the following Monday.

I walked out, gutted, heartbroken and in shock. I called Carl and cried, I ugly cried. Then I called my Mom and cried some more.

As I laid in theatre that Monday at Vincent Palotti the Anaesthetist held my hand as I cried. He told me he knew what I was feeling and that it would be ok. I may not feel it but I’d be fine. I could feel myself drifting away and crying. And when I woke up, it was over and Carl was sitting with me. I burst into tears again. I never knew I could cry that much. Then I demanded to leave. I needed to get out, to get away from the Hospital, the staff, the crying babies in the passages.

In the 3 months that followed Carl and I fought daily. We woke up angry, went to bed angry, shouted at each other, ignored each other, I became ugly towards him and then we decided to just STOP. Stop the fighting, the shouting, the swearing, the rudeness and put having a baby on hold.

We needed to forgive each other, to grieve together and focus on us or our marriage would not survive.

I stopped all the meds, I stopped checking temperatures, weight and cycles. I cancelled my follow up appointment and shredded my Pathcare forms.

This is what my marriage needed. We needed to be healthy and happy again, free from the added stresses in our lives and when the time was right, we’d venture down the fertility path again one day…

We got iur relationship back on track, we were happy and communicating better than ever before. But the baby thing… well…

Well God had other plans… and a few weeks later we were pregnant with Joshuah. Completely unplanned, and medication free.

But we survived, and we were in the right space in our marriage.

GOD’S timing is ALWAYS perfect!

Its hard when life doesn’t work out the way you envision or expect, but its how you handle the storm that makes the good times so much more memorable.

So just hang in there!

Promoting Momtrepreneurs : Meet Lehani, the Mom behind Dandy Lion

Well hello there stranger!

As you may or may not have noticed I’ve taken a bit of a breather with my blogging.

For one thing, I blog for me and sure if theres someone who can relate to the situation / or chapter of my life I’m currently in or can learn from it the thats an added bonus.

As some know, I’ve recently launched into the big wide world of small businesses and its been challenging, fun, stressful and more fun!

I definitely have a passion for small businesses, supporting local and supporting Mom owned businesses.

This week I’d like you guys to show some love to Lehani. Founder and owner of Dandy Lion, boasting a whopping 2400+ Facebook followers and counting.

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So tell us a bit about yourself, who you are, your background?

Sjoe I always get a bit flustered when I have to tell people about myself. But here it goes…

I’m a wife and a mom to a beautiful girl of 5 years old. I love anything DIY and handmade. There is just something so special about something that is handmade. I am a creative by heart and love playing around with new ideas and designs, this consumes my thoughts when I need to go to sleep. I studied Fashion design at Elizabeth Galloway in Stellenbosch and this is where my love for design and sewing just grew, I then did styling  and Visual Merchandising and the decided to take a leap of faith and start a baby brand. And that is how Dandy Lion was born!

2. Do you have any kids? Be biased and tell us how awesome they are.

I have a beautiful daughter called Lila. She is my fitting model and inspiration!
(Super modest Momma Bear)

3. How, when and why did you start Dandy Lion

Having a baby of my own I always swooned over baby items you could get internationally. But I could never find items in South Africa that was not full of cartoons and that was not made in China. Don’t get me wrong my daughter still loves her cartoon items. But I just wanted to bring something different to the market. I’m also a firm believer of buying local and creating jobs in South Africa that is why all our items are manufactured in South Africa.

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Last year the opportunity came along for me to pursue my business on a fulltime basis and as I have mentioned it was a case of prayer and taking that leap of faith.  This was quite daunting, moving away from the corporate world but I just knew it had to happen then or never.

And today I am so thankful for this amazing opportunity to have my own business. How does that quote go:

”If you do what you love you will never have to work a day in your life” Marc Anthony.

I have been blessed with parents, friends and a husband who’s support I had from day one and that makes taking the leap of faith much easier.

And now I’m living my dream!

4. Starting a business has its fair share of challenges but also great rewards. What has been one of the highlightsof venturing out on your own. Care to share a piece of advice with other aspiring small business owners.

My biggest highlight has been to be a part of Kamersvolgeskenke (what a amazing experience it has been every time).

We will be exhibiting for our second year at Kamers after officially launching Dandy Lion at Kamers last year.

Having your own business is never just sunshine and roses. But believe me you reap the biggest joy and that over shadows any bump in the road.

So my advice will be to believe in your dreams but also to have realistic dream and if you are still excited about your dream. Then put your whole heart into it and don’t look back.

5. When doing new designs, what do you look for. Comfortability, affordability, latest trends? Where does the inspiration stem from?

I am Pinterest obsessed and I love following international trends. (YAY I found another one)

When doing new designs I keep my clients in mind and I try and keep comfort, affordability as well as the latest trends in mind.  All our clothing is 100% cotton. I sometimes have a client looking for something and before I know they will be my inspiration and it will become part of my range. So clients input and what they are looking for also play a big role in how I go about designing. Mostly it will be items that they have seen internationally and can’t find in SA.

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6. Can one only order via the catalogue you have available on Facebook or do you do custom orders too?

I am currently looking in to an online store. But I have just been too busy designing our new range. But at the moment I sell from Facebook and via catalogue. And a few other online stores and local Boutiques.

Custom orders are always welcome.

As all our items are handmade, so any item can be custom made to a clients request.

7. Any upcoming markets we can come and support you at?

Yes I have a few VERY exciting markets coming up, Kamersvolgeskenke Hermanus 24-27 September, Lilliput Market on the 3 October, Affair on the Hills 24-25 October, Kamersvolgeskenke Stellenbosch 27 October- 1 November.

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Thanks Lehani!

For more info hop on over to Facebook and show Lehani some LOVE!

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My custom bunny beanie for Josh made by the awesome Dandy Lion Momma!

Getting crafty with Surpriso

There’s nothing that brings more joy to my overly active boys lives than a new arts and craft project.

So when I was approached by Surpriso to test out one of their boxes I jumped at the opportunity.

For once I didn’t have to do the research, all the planning and get the supplies. I love it but life has been somewhat busy in the Thomas home lately and time was not something I’ve had much of.

Enter Surpriso

Surpriso

is a monthly arts and crafts subscription box delivered to your door with all the materials and step by step instructions, for kids to build, make, and develop their confidence.

The crafts are for children aged 5-8 but we guarantee that it will be fun for the whole family to get involved!

The theme for the box we received was “Under The Sea” and the boys had a blast over the long weekend doing all the crafts.

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The great thing is that all you need to complete the activities are included in the box (except a scissor), and you receive user friendly instructions on how to do everything. Perfect for little minds to grasp.

What you’ll find in your box

Do it yourself arts & crafts activities delivered monthly (each month has a new theme)
Each box contains 3-5 age appropriate craft activities
Safe and non-toxic materials

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The box is definitely geared at older kids but Josh did what he could and thoroughly enjoyed himself (once bored he then painted on the couch and floor, thank goodness its washable paint).

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Danny was utterly chuffed with himself and everything he created.

How to get your hands on a Surpriso box

There are 5 options available:

1 Month subscription – R199
1 Month subscription for siblings – R339 (15% discount), enough materials for both kids!
Gift Box – R220 (beautifully wrapped ready to go – the perfect gift for a kid’s birthday)
3 Month subscription – R570 (sign up for 3 months and receive a 5% discount)
3 Month Sibling subscription – R999 (3 months sibling box and receive a 15% discount

All options include FREE delivery to all major centres across South Africa (boxes to outer areas will be sent via the post office).

To order yours click HERE or feel free to send an email to info@surpriso.co.za

Happy Crafting

LT

Having FAITH and starting a small business

Taking a step IN faith!

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Should I wait in Faith or Step out in Faith?”

For the last 2 years I have done just that. I’ve dreamt about starting my own business, something small, something manageable and something that means something to me.

I work well with balance, with structure and being comfortable. This has been fine, until now. Very recently I’ve been questioning myself, questioning where I see myself in the next 5 years, trying to work on my plan and one night before I fell asleep I thought, “Do I really want to live in my comfort zone for the rest of my life?”

Faith is more than just believing, Faith is actually taking the next step. I’m proud to say we have done just that, we’ve stepped out in faith and started our own little business, it may not always be easy but I know it will be worth it. We’re in our “New Season” and I could not ask for a better partner to be sharing this experience with. He is my biggest supporter, my fiercest critic and my absolute tower of strength. He challenges me to be my best, to do more and to go for what I want.

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A while back I read something on Instagram, “The key to success, is to start before you are ready”. I had a good chuckle and got my day started, not knowing that this was the start of our new journey.

The name for our business sort of just happened, welcome to the world “Love Made Me”.

This is our new baby, our creation, and just with a new baby we need your support.

Please feel free to drop me a mail at heygirl@lovemademe.co.za for all your baby printing needs. We do customized sublimation printing on baby Onesies (growers and vest). If there’s something you’ve seen, if you have an idea, we’ll do our best to accommodate you. Alternatively you can have a look at our Facebook page for recent projects. Email me for pricing options. Postage can be arranged at an additional cost, or if you’re Cape Town based you can always collect.

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We all have to start somewhere, and this is our somewhere.

Is there something you’ve been dreaming about? Something you want to do?

Let me know!

#officiallyamomtrepreneur

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Win with Tiny Tribe Kids and What Happened to my body

Good Morning Lovelies,

Following my post yesterday reviewing the Tiny Tribe Kids leggings I purchased last month for Josh, I’m here today with a BIG SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You could be the lucky winner of a pair of Tiny Tribe Kids leggings for your child or a niece / nephew / grandchild / godchild / futurechild – ANYONE!

Competition will run from Wednesday, 22 July to Sunday, 26 July and the winner will be announced on Monday, 27 July.

So, what are you waiting for???? Go and enter!

Competition only open to SA residents living in this Country, sorry.

Leggings sizes (Age 0 – 4 years only).

Enter via LINK TO THE RIGHT

Rafflecopter – a Rafflecopter giveaway

Tiny Tribe Kids

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As I have mentioned before, I am obsessed with all things cute for little people.

For as long as I can remember I’ve had the obsession for little people, not in the politically correct / incorrect sense but in the little human sense.

From pregnancy to when they’re old enough to fight with the powers that be, I love kids. More so my own, but I love them.

Keeping them looking somewhat stylish and yet comfortable has been one of my many parenting goals for both my boys. I say somewhat as I’m definitely not the most “On trend, trend forward” Mom as clothing needs to be practical. They need to work for both boys and they’re busy lives. Skinny jeans may look great on your kiddie but on mine who is not a fan of denim (or ruff fabric as Danny says) due to it being tight, uncomfortable, hard and many other excuses it doesn’t work. Then we have the second challenge, both my boys are narrow waisted. They’re not skinny or underfed, they’re growing and developing beautifully, so when we typically buy Age 5 – 6 for Danny and Age 1 – 2 for Josh, the length is always spot on however the waist requires a belt, or drawstring which is a schlep. Belts more so because I’m the one who has to ensure its tied at all times.

Then I stumbled across Tiny Tribe kids and decided to give their leggings a go for Josh. I’m a BIG fan of leggings for boys, age appropriate of course (I don’t in the future see Danny or Carl wanting to wear leggings), they’re versatile, user friendly, cost effective, comfortable and stylish. After mailing Linda and placing my order which took 2 weeks give or take to arrive as all items are made to order I jumped in my car and went to collect (a road away from my Mom, can you believe how small the world is). I was blown away by the quality of the items and more importantly that they FIT! Happy dance all around for this Mommy.

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She has also since launched new items to their range which are just too adorable and combo deals, and then the bigger plus she’s a MOMTREPRENEUR! Something I would love to be (totally jealous of you right now), but I also love the security of my regular paycheck monthly.

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Never heard of Tiny Tribe Kids clothing before, where have you been. Go and show them some love on Facebook

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A bit about Linda and how this company came about,

“I come from a clothing background, study a BTech in Clothing Management.

Starting this business wasn’t my first as I had a range of ladies clothing which was stocked in a few boutiques across SA. After that I embarked on a new business venture and bought an evening wear hiring boutique in Durbanville, which I ran for 2 years. But after falling pregnant with my son, I wanted to be a bit more flexible. The shop kept me quite busy and with retail, the hours aren’t very flexible. So I sold the shop and focused on my family.

Clothing shopping after my son was born was frustrating, there wasn’t a wide selection in stores. These baggy, character print, brightly colour garments just weren’t working for me.

Coming from the clothing background, the production part was easy. But finding nice printed fabric was a nightmare. I just couldn’t find what I wanted anywhere. So I decided to print my own fabric.

I taught myself how to screen print by watching MANY YouTube video tutorials, speaking to screen printing suppliers and LOTS of practice.

And that’s how Tiny Tribe Kids was born.

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I really love what I do, and I’m really lucky that I have a Husband that supports my dream to do what I love, while still being able to be there for our Son.

I guess you can say I really do have the best of both worlds.”

You can place your orders the following ways:

Email: tinytribekids@gmail.com
Call: +27 073 6444 222

I LOVE MOMTREPRENEURS!

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If you have your own business or know of a great Mom run business please let me know and I’ll check it out.

Till Later
LT

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